Saturday, July 01, 2006

Things that go blah in the night

I'm having one of those weeks where everything's slow, painful and exhausting. It's irritating, since I so rarely have them anymore, that they're so recognisable when they arrive. They are not good for me.

I went to some unbelievably bad training yesterday. What is it, exactly, that happens to teachers who become teacher trainers that makes them forget everything they know perfectly well, in theory, when it comes to practice? These people could not teach me. Their methods were undifferentiated to say the least. I'm a quick, fairly experienced and very kinaesthetic learner when it comes to IT - if I can't practice a lot, with regular guidance, on my own, then I won't be able to learn or do anything on one of those dread machines. It was helpful, then, that these teachers made me work in a group of five (five! to one computer!) because "you can help them because you're quite good." How lovely for them. At least I learnt first-hand how useful differentiation can be for students. After lunch I refused to work with anyone, turned into one of those really stroppy silent students who get on my nerves so much, sat at my own computer and charged ahead. Other people: great for concepts, sharing ideas and discussions. Not so great when you want to get stuff done. Anyway, I did learn one or two things about using computers in English teaching, which was the point of the course. I just learnt most of that in the post-activity discussions and by experimenting with the IT systems on my own. (Electronic whiteboards... I want one so much... Funding, funding, funding. Blah.)

I was seriously stressed out on my journey home, worrying about interviews - oh yes, I've got another one on Monday - and other things I must get done this weekend despite how tired I am, so I went into Southwark Cathedral. Well, I was nearby, and it's my cathedral and I love it. Very peaceful. I prayed about the things in the world, in the news, that are scaring me. I miss the days when I had the time to drop everything and go and find a campaign when something made me angry. At least I was doing something.

So, it's back to the weekend of interview prep (microteaching - WHY? *terrified sob*) and dull, dull admin. I'm going to watch an episode of Doctor Who first, though. Something's got to give.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails... And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Cor 13: 4-8 & 13

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