It all began when The Girl's parents decided they wanted to meet me.
We half-met in Edinburgh, where they avoided me from a distance. Then they suddenly decided, having refused to acknowledge my existence for a year, that they wanted to have lunch with me. Fine. I was a bit worried that I'd be terrified beyond the telling of it, but mostly I was pleased.
Then my family joined in the fun, and things got weirder.
My mother let slip to my grandmother that I'm going out with The Girl. She got tired with the constant but why hasn't she got a boyfriend? type questions. I didn't particularly mind, since it helps me avoid the same irritation. Until, that is, the very next weekend, when I got a text message from The Sister. "Beware! Nanny is planning to invite all four of us to dinner." My grandmother had decided that she wanted to meet The Girl, and was thinking that the best way was a big Sunday lunch with The Sister, The Brother-in-Law, The Girl and me. We were supposed to be meeting The Girl's parents for lunch on Saturday, but (once we got over the general shock of it all) we decided we could fit in a Sunday dinner with my grandmother on the same weekend. Just about.
As if that wasn't going to be a stressful enough weekend, things continued to get worse.
Minutes after I got off the phone with my grandmother to say that we would be coming for the massive roast dinner (she's Irish - she likes to see me eat) on Sunday lunch time, The Girl texts to say that she's just heard from her parents. They have to arrive in the country a day later than expected, so instead of Saturday lunch, can they meet us for dinner on Sunday night?
I spent a full hour shrieking and tearing my hair out. Mostly about how much I'll have to eat on Sunday...
On the good side, I'll be too busy with the sheer terror about meeting The Girl's parents to worry too much about how it's going with my grandmother. So that's something.
Thank God it's half term. I'll need the four days off to recover from Sunday.