Monday, May 14, 2007

Another brief update, only it probably won't be that brief.

This is a cross-post, as I am completely out of energy, and anticipate being so for some time. Sorry...

So, yes. Let's clarify what's going on in life ("Life? Don't talk to me about life") at the moment, since my brief updates have been rather crap recently. Basically, we're losing our home through a lack of money (technically it's more complicated than that, but it nonetheless wouldn't be happening if I could work). After a hellish week of flat-hunting, which led us to conclude that it's utterly impossible to find wheelchair-accessible housing in London, we have signed a contract for a semi-accessible place not far from where we live now. It's a very, very tiny studio flat (which means we'll be living in one room plus a small bathroom). I'm supposed to be getting help with adaptations to housing from the local occupational therapy department (who we really need to see, because of various problems with this place, not least the huge flight of stairs going up to it), but we've just found out there's a ten-month waiting list to see them. Nice...

I was just about coping OK with all this, until last night when I fell apart completely and had a fabulous two-hour panic attack. Today this was compounded when I dragged myself out to my hydrotherapy appointment and then found out it was cancelled. I burst into tears and ended up in a bit of a state, mostly because I'm in a lot of pain after last week's appointment and needed to see someone to discuss it. So they found me the physiotherapist, who sat and talked with me for a while. He was clearly really worried about my situation, and was offering to find me a better walking stick and so on, but I just had to get out of there as I was in a terrible state. However, I might take him up on that next week, as I keep falling...

Meanwhile, I was supposed to have an appointment with the mental health team today, but The Girl is working and can't take me, so that's had to be cancelled. They're hoping they can visit me at home, but I've no idea when that will be. In the meantime, I am really not coping. (Actually, I'm probably coping quite well under the circumstances, for someone with a history of mental health problems - but I would like to be coping better.) Oh, and we have to start packing everything up and selling almost everything we own, so that we can fit ourselves into the tiny studio flat... (All offers of packing help much appreciated - we will give you food in return. *grin*)

Oh, and I have to file my request for an appeal for Disability Living Allowance by Friday, because the idiots in the DLA office didn't bother to tell me until recently that I'd been refused it nearly a month ago (the details got 'lost in the post'), and so I've run out of time for that. Still wondering whether I should bother, given the stress it will cause me. I also still don't know what's going on with my Incapacity Benefit, i.e. whether I'll have any money to live on at all or whether it will all be taken away from me...

And finally: We invited the world's most fundamentalist, homophobic, boring and weird relatives (mine, ergo entirely my own fault) over for dinner, back in January when we thought they were sure to refuse. They said yes. Of course, we didn't realise back then how much stress we'd be under now. I'm trying to get my brain and body to stop threatening to hurt me in cruel and unusual ways, The Girl is working both daytime AND evenings on different shows, we have to move house and sell all our stuff, we may be too poor to feed ourselves quite soon, and now we're having bigoted scary relatives (and their son, who is, um, difficult) over for dinner. OH MY GOD. Anyone else feel like the world hates them and wants them to know it?

The Great London Trek went well, which is the one bright spark in everything that's going on at the moment...! We'll be collecting pledges this week, and The Girl promises to write a proper update about the walk itself at the Trek blog very soon.

2 comments:

Tanya said...

Best of luck with the house-hunting! I live in Edinburgh and my husband and I are currently trying to find a two-bedroom flat (I need studio space and he needs workshop space, hence the need for the second bedroom) with private parking (cause on-street parking here is crap and I couldn't live without my car) and a lift. NOWHERE here has a bloody lift, not even the new-builds we've looked at. We're hoping to get a flat in the building that two of our friends live in cause it has everything, but it'll be a hell of a wait. I've finally accepted that I just can't 'do' stairs, at least not every day, and it's causing us untold problems.

Ellie said...

Best of luck with it. I'd say you're coping bloody well given the circumstances. I hope the rellie dinner isn't too painful. ;)